heart piercing life

old gold

2011-11-11T20:26:00.001-05:00

Sometimes we have ideas that make us hungry. So hungry that they feed their way into our psyche and plant themselves there with such certainty that no one can talk us out of our interest into the original idea. We become ravenous. This is one of those ideas. When I first mentioned it, Paul was not smitten. He was resistant, for whatever reason, to this idea. But I, being the obnoxious person I am, pressed on.

It's unfair to say that I'm annoying, per se; I was inspired and unrelenting, yes, but never annoying. (right?)

So here was (is) the idea: request gold from our families, scraps (not the good stuff!) and have it all melted down to make our wedding bands. my engagement ring, a melissa joy manning yellow diamond with a hand hammered band, was partial inspiration for the design. but i'm also in love with all things david yurman, but wanted to have our bands locally made at a charming little shop called "From the Vault."

hello beautiful

So we marched up the street, literally this place is right around the corner(!), and i spilled my beans. Graham, a young and oh-so-talented jeweler, was open to the idea. it was my own fiance that needed convincing.

"Isn't it a lot to ask for gold from our family?," Paul insisted.

"Of course not! Every woman has old gold hoops, scraps from broken chains and old bracelets that they want to get rid of. Just let me try." Our conversation was short, and then I got to work.

Inspired by Mrs. Lillien and her beautiful wordsmithing, I set out to draft a poem to sell my idea to our handful of grandmothers and mothers alike. I was asking for gold, you know, this had to be good. And once the poem was finished (full script below), I used words and colors and handwriting to bring this idea of love that is deep and wide to life.

This turned out to be one of my favorite elements of the wedding, ultimately capturing a most important story that represents my and paul's family histories...Both of our parents are divorced. This is sad when you're a kid, weird in college, hard every christmas, and has turned out to be one of the biggest blessing in life for both of us. Now, we have 4 sets of w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l (and happily remarried!) parents and 8 sets of grandparents, so there is a lot of scrap gold in our family. And our families are unique (aren't everyones?)...

What's significant here for me is this: though divided, divorced, and broken in a sense---left to become something less than its original beauty--our families have discovered a deeper love, a better understanding of partnership, new meaning through all of this. While i cannot take credit for my family history, I can tell you that making the best of what we have makes for a fun wedding : )

So back to the inspiration, here are a few photos of the image...

the full monty

detail (gg9a is my gram 9a who we loveeeeee)

The poem reads:

paul and stephanie are soon to be wed. "two become one," or so it is said. the festivities are planned--we hope you'll be there--october 2nd in Louisville promises to have enormous amounts of love in the air.

we're writing today to submit a request, we're asking for gold--oh no! not your best! your brightest and finest should stay with you, the bottom-of-the jewelry box pieces will do.

we'd like our family heritage to live on our hand, we're using your gold to craft our wedding bands! so please send us a little--anything 14 or 18 karat-- we'll melt it all down, reshape it and wear it!

and please if you're able, make plans to come--celebrate our wedding and have lots of fun! xoxo love stephanie and paul

After making the original piece,

I zipped my way to Kinko's and made some high quality color copies.

Then I Bought and addressed an outer envelope and inner padded envelope.

(you don't put gold in the post in just anything.)

And marched my way into the post office.

(you can imagine the look on the postman's face when I told him what I wanted to do.)

The project involved:

the poem

an envelope for mailing

and inner envelope

a pre-paid, pre-addresses priority mail outer envelope

preparing for post!

oh yeah

clear instructions

all in all, the project cost us about $60.

which is a bargain when the goods that you receive look like this.

that's right... amazing pile of golden goodness

including:
my great grandfathers stopwatch chain
a 14k gold piggie charm from my mom
a funky hippie golden mermaid from paul's mom
broken chains
alicia's signet ring (couldn't bear to melt that down)
tiny diamonds
my grandmother's wedding band
golden studs
and so many eclectic pieces

perhaps my favorite response... from gg9a again: "thank you for including me. love love love"

come back in the next couple days for the final product: the rings!

and our vows...

when we exchanged the beautiful pieces with one another.

so special.

happy saturday and much love!

steph

p.s. know somebody who would love to take on this project? the idea has been so well received that people have encouraged me to make a project out of it. the listing is up in my etsy shop and i'm making custom poems! so please, spread the word!

struck

2011-11-03T21:14:00.001-04:00

when paul and i first got engaged (june 2010), we were super excited.

engaged. and it was vacation, too!

but we had no idea, none, about what we wanted to do with our wedding ceremony and celebration.

and. we had three lovely sets of friends whose weddings were just around the corner.

{{happy 1 year anniversary: kenny & victoria: julie & corey: lauren & drew}

lovely.

so we waited for the inspiration.

and then it was new years {cheers!}

and we were in NYC. and PW turned 29.

and we celebrated.

oh yes, we celebrated!

photo by victoria harris

and on our mega bus trip back to DC from NYC, we considered some ideas

then, let them settle into our bones.

tossed and turned them in our minds.

made some decisions.

yes, us.

(our moms were so proud.)

thank god for hounddog press.

robert loved that i was taking a photo of him.

robert and nick are two handsome fellows who run a kick-ass letterpress shoppe in downtown louisville. and they were so nice to little indecisive me.

as i started looking for inspiration, i knew we had to have some funky save the dates that channeled the "feel" of our vintage, latin themed wedding.

and then like inspiration always does.

it struck me one day that it was ok to want a wedding filled with

old gold,

turquoise,

blush,

and

scarlet red.

so that's what we chose.

not that we did anything so official with this palette,

but, it was ours to work from,

and it guided some of our major decisions.

including...

the save the date!

the first look at the finished product

uni-ball silver pens made addressing easy peasy!

and then, ultimately, the invitation.

but that should wait for another day, don't cha think?

also...stay tuned for a weekend update about an awesome project that i came up with.

how's this for a sneak peek?!?!

love is in the air.

no matter what the season.

stay tuned.

xoxoxo

the juicy bits

2011-10-26T22:04:00.001-04:00

i started to run, thinking, what have i gotten myself into?!? i could never capture in words all the joy and creativity and generosity we experienced. and life kinda got busy...which, is, real life, isn't it? and something scary happened to someone i love, and then it wasn't so scary, and then we were grateful for everything and each other and life's lessons. but as soon as i started to run, i realized i was running for the wrong reasons. so what if this is the most disorganized recap of a wedding celebration ever, it is mine, i will write it. even if my words don't do justice to my experience, if i can somehow, someway, capture the sheer color and delight of paul's blue eyes, our confetti system wavering in the wind, the brassy notes of the trumpet floating in the crisp october air, i would be glad. my crooked smile, and oh-my-god my bouquet (it was GORGEOUS). these are the memories i don't want to forget.

succulents, orange dahlia's, cream garden roses, and more. gush

so the weekend overview, once again:

thursday: errands all day with mom and sister

friday: special deliveries, last minute preparations, family dinner (aka: chili cookoff!)
saturday: rehearsal at whitehall and "rehearsal dinner" (or what PW and i called "cheers to you" dinner)
sunday: bridal shower (not your average bridal shower! stay tuned for many deets), followed by the wedding and reception.

let's start with the beginning, shall we? caroline and mom and eleanor were scheduled to arrive on wednesday evening at 7p.m. i had a gift certificate to joseph's salon and spa that inspired me to schedule a massage and waxing appt after work that day... and let's be honest, my stress levels are used to red-lining much of the time, so this was the relaxing, peaceful, soak-it-up kickoff to our imaginative and festive wedding weekend. note to future brides: you have my full hearted recommendation to go this route. so worth it. even the armpit wax. didn't shave my armpits for two weeks! hollar.

this photo was taken the day before eleanor arrived. imagine how excited i was! my life would be complete if i looked this cute in my saturday morning lounge wear.

e.b.r. love

also arriving and bringing a big smile to my face, our confetti system, with customized amounts of gold, magenta and turquoise. can i get a hell yes? this is the real deal, folks. we dreamed of this baby for so long, and one night, while attempting to convince veronica, our lovely 'day of coordinator,' friend extraordinaire, and creative, amazing soul, that the 15 hours DIY project might be worth it, paul ordered it. he walked in and said he'd done so, and i was shocked and i've no doubt veronica was relieved. she would've done anything for us, even a 15 hour DIY project, but this beauty was worth every penny (and keeping your dear friends sane!)!!!

welcome to louisville, Confetti Systems!

i had a whole list of to do's to tackle on thursday, and knowing mom and caroline would be here made them truly fun. we ran around town, picked up my dress, dropped off the ribbon at the florist, delivered batches of wedding decor to the venue, picked up beer, etc.etc.etc. about half-way through the day, i vividly remember saying: i have this much stress, GOOSE EGG, nada, zilch. we all smiled and vrooommmed along our little way. what a great start to the weekend.

at the end of our long day of errands, we made one last trip to pickup a special delivery: two custom, (confetti system's inspired) piñatas. my friend paula has a friend carolina who can work MAGIC with paper, cardboard and glue. the piñata conversation consisted of a few emails, one phone call, and meeting in a parking lot to pick up the goods. this is just a GLIMMER of these beauties. carolina did an AMAZING job making this dream come true. yes we had piñatas at our wedding, didn't you?!?! if you can't tell from the photo, they were about 3.5' ft. tall. gold. and blue. um yes. amazing.

look at caroline's face! that about sums it up! amazing!

then when we got home that evening, we started in on a wedding craft i'd been planning for a long time...

welcome boxes!

one of my favorite parts about a wedding is checking in at a hotel room and getting a little welcome gift. it's one of the special little things i wanted to do for our traveling guests, and because paul works in the wine business, i got inspired to use fancy wine boxes as the carrier of these little treats :) we stuffed the boxes full of colorful tissue paper, yummy snacks (sweet and salty), beverages (locally brewed beer, half bottles of wine, and san pellegrino soda), fresh fruit, local publications, and a welcome note. wrapped them with assorted colors of ribbon, and voila! what a collaboration of all things good!

momma making good progress

attendant of honor in action

ready to go!

our mini helper

bridal delivery to the hotel, how fun is that!!

and talk about reduce, reuse, recycle! i loved this project, it was perfectly paul and perfectly me. we even saw my grandma and uncle dave in the parking lot when we were dropping these puppies off---so i got to hand deliver a few boxes! i was told that they were delivered by a bellhop to each guest's room (how fun it that! like christmas morning)...though i have no clue if that actually happened. :) as it goes being the bride.

how's that for a healthy dose of wedding fun and inspiration. more soon!
xoxoxoxxx S

location. location. location.

2011-10-15T12:38:00.000-04:00

cloudless blue sky

when you get the privilege of hand-picking the day for your special event, you can control everything about that day, down to the most intricate of details. but what you can't choose is the weather, the temperature, or the way the wind will blow. you get what cha' get.

about a week before the wedding, people kept saying "the ten day forecast looks beautiful," or "looks like you'll have a sunny wedding day." i'd smile and pretend to care, but really, i didn't. a long while back, i resigned all control of the details of this day. i had a few minor demands (keep reading) and i might have said something on a mothers-sister-bride conference call about no guests wearing black (?!?!), but otherwise, the weather, the finite details of the day, the menu of the rehearsal dinner, it was all a wash to me and paul.

ultimately, we decided on louisville because it was a place we knew and loved. there are handfuls of vendors here that we personally knew and wanted to give our business, tell them what we were thinking and let them do their thing. the majority of our guests were going to travel no matter where we decided to have our wedding, and we fell in love in this city, so it just felt right.

oh right... we realized we need a place to actually have the wedding. we tossed around the idea of paul's church and a darling restaurant we loved right down the street. that didn't settle quite right (though stay tuned for more on the darling restaurant)... and then there was Whitehall: historical home and gardens, with just the right amount of french-american victorian era inspiration, and green space that inspires and delights.

and then it was settled. louisville. whitehall. october. the only open date in october was sunday the 2nd, and we snatched it up. i still remember when paul called me at work earlier this year to tell me the date was available. i about leaped out of my chair. merrill was an absolute delight to work with, and after an official tour of the house and ground, anybody would be so happy to host their event at whitehall.

we finally had a location and a date! once these details were in place, the ideas really started rolling. and not that anyone's looking for advice, but that whole "let your heart lead the way" really is quite the trick. when you settle into your own ideas and get really clear on what you love, it all kind of magically happens. that's true of life, isn't it? mumford and sons put it well: "where you invest your love, you invest your life."

so back to the weather, i caved a few days before the wedding and this is what i saw:

67 and sunny. hell yes.

a bride can't buy that kind of a weather report. so we set out to celebrate, all weekend long, with 70+ of our closest family and friends surrounding us. and we did. and it was amazing. and we are still beaming over some of the small details that came together so beautifully. without micro-managing. without worry and anxiety in abundance. there was, what i like to think, the right amount of tension: enough so that you knew this was a special event, but not a paralyzing amount that made everything feel like tip-toeing on a tightrope.

Family at the chili dinner

family at the rehearsal (and V, mistress of ceremonies!)

membrillo at red hog with erincita (looking tan! thanks iphone)

our mischievous friends, looking sweet

and so i'll end this second overview with our itenerary for the weekend, or what my dad called, the calendar of events:

thursday: errands all day with mom and sister
friday: special deliveries, last minute preparations, family dinner (aka: chili cookoff!)
saturday: rehearsal at whitehall and "rehearsal dinner" (or what PW and i called "cheers to you" dinner)
sunday: bridal shower (not your average bridal shower! stay tuned for many deets), followed by the wedding and reception.

are you still here? i hope so. it strikes me that i should apologize if this space turns into a bit of a wedding gush for a while. its just that i don't want to forget these details and the very best way for me to share/save them is to write about them here. i hope you won't mind. i promise to keep it as fresh and authentic as possible.

sending love your way on this saturday morning.

my husband is making pumpkin pancakes and scrambled eggs... life is calling. xoxoxo S

the season of love

2011-10-10T18:07:00.003-04:00

oh my, oh my, this negligent blogger is ready for a return. as many of you have heard, i'm a new Mrs. and the entire wedding weekend filled me with enough inspiration, insight and love that i cannot hold back!

not only do i want to share wedding details, but i'd also really like to highlight some special vendors and share some stories about why we did what we did. how about a photo to kick off my highlight summary post?

paul & i before the "rehearsal" dinner

when we sat down to plan our wedding, which was the culmination of a 14-month engagement, i must admit i was a very different person than i am today. something about the ceremony of a wedding---and the planning that goes into it---changes you. it connects you to the people you know and love (whether they are married or not) in a unique way, and to a history of love that is much older and wiser than you and i. it's humbling and exhilarating, unique to every person and a part of each of us.

for me, weaving meaningful aspects of ourselves into the events and traditions of a wedding was the MOST exciting part and what made the whole process worth it. i mean yes, i get this incredible, committed, wonderful man to call my husband---that's great beyond words----but we could have made that commitment on the beaches of somewhere exotic or on a mountaintop somewhere picturesque, but that just didn't seem to settle right. we knew in our heart of hearts we wanted to share that commitment before our family and friends, eloping sounded sexy but not quite right.

sweet reminder

don't get me wrong, we talked seriously about it. i am of the mindset, "if it doesn't serve you, throw it out," and a lot of wedding traditions didn't suite paul and i. so thus began many months of inspiration seeking and combing through everything that's out there. when 2011 kicked off, we took a walk, looked each other in the eyes, and got to planning. we had to think seriously about the ceremony, the themes, the decorations, and (very seriously) about the food and "beverage program" (ahem, yes, I said beverage program)---but mostly we had to get clear on:

what we wanted
how to navigate the wedding industry in a way that produced a meaningful event (and didn't burn holes in pocketbooks)
(perhaps most importantly) how to get our families (and dear friends) on board for the adventure (because people, it takes a VILLAGE!).

i think the last three things were pivotal to the inevitable transformation. and now, post-wedding, paul and i couldn't be more delighted with the outcome, the generous amounts of love and support we've received, and to wake up each morning, pinch one another's rosy cheeks and thank our lucky stars. we are super blessed and we know it.

look at those smiles.

so true!

wedding day self portrait (loads more to this story!)

so that's the start to the story. it's going to unravel in many parts, so i hope you'll join me for the adventure. if you could care less about weddings (which i totally understand), check in from time to time for pretty pictures and some fun inspiration about awesome louisville businesses! much love from kentucky! xoxox

hand to the plow.

2011-08-31T22:46:00.000-04:00

when i fall off the blogging wagon, which, you know, happens every once in a while, i get intimidated that i should just close up shop, pack my bags and move on. but then i start dreaming up posts. making promises to ideas. letting inspiration bleed into my day to day. and finally, the ideas and inspiration get so big, and the knocking on my mind gets so loud, that the only proper response seems to be finding myself back in this space to share inspiration and delight!

just in case you're curious as to what i've been up to, i think this photo sums is up in one fell swoop: hand to the plow. oh, ok, so that's a gas powered tiller, but still: suffice it to say i've been working pretty damn hard.

my summer has been spent mostly at work, in the fields, wedding planning, adventuring, wining and dining with pw, and making the most of the hours of sunshine available to us. my stress levels are a bit higher than i'd like (juggling too much, you say?) but i'm looking forward to my birthday (next week!), our fall wedding (!!!), and a sweet little honeymoon. classes are back in session, work will always be there, these celebratory times only come once.

expect some updates, vendor reports, darling stories, photo posts and more from me soon! and: tell, tell, how have YOU been? xoxox stephanie

the makings of a happy stefi

2011-06-20T17:05:00.015-04:00

PW would tell you there are a few things that make this girl happy. i could be in a horrible mood (yes, me.) and instantly these things will make me happy. not happy for a minute and then mad again, but, "oh yeah, that's what i want my life to be composed of " happy. the people i love. the clothes that make me feel good. activities that bring a wide smile to my face. places around the globe that really awaken my spirit.

why, one must ask themselves,

isn't my everyday

composed of

these people and places and things?

good question! i think that's what gretchen rubin is getting at in her happiness book. and what thich nhat hahn means when he says "everyday when you wake up, there are 24 brand new hours to live." maybe happiness isn't a moment, but a composition. finely tuned to awaken our spirits to the bigger picture. after all (you know what i'm going to say, right?): it is our days that make up our lives. {annie dilliard}

mini me.

with all that being said, the mystery isn't that much of a mystery. so i present to you today, a bit of a manifesta:

i like my coffee black, my bath water hot, and my grandmother's oversized golden hoops.
i love a picnic, sparkling wine and an extra firm (but not burnt!) crust on a creme brulee
handwritten letters are best, but if you must send an email, jump off the page with !!!, xoxox's and :) galore
music should be played loudly enough that i can sing and you can't hear me. unless of course, you're playing acoustic guitar: then i'm all ears.
balloons makes every occasion special. feeling blue? balloons. birthday? balloons. walk in the park? balloons.
swimming: yes, please! my preference is the doggie-paddle, but the water-puppy within will do anything to stay afloat.
long fingers and toes mean my jewelry must be made for royalty: big, shiny + a story with each piece.
i'd rather be a driver than a passenger.
everyday physical activity and moderation makes for a life-time of wellbeing. sometimes: splurge.
golden: shoes, accessories, dresses, planners, pens. anything.
while we're on the subject, pens: gel, no ballpoint. fountain, but of course. colorful, always.
i'll never be early, but rarely am i running late.
i can't sleep until i've written or called you back, thanked you properly for your kindness, or acknowledged a gift i've been given. if you haven't heard back from me, i promise you i'm not sleeping well.
i say a prayer for peace every morning.
some people have got it right. a particular person comes to mind: gg9a.
backscratching makes my heart go pitter-patter.
i love challenges, celebrations, honest conversation and meaningful exchanges. i'll never turn down a hug.
family + friends are here to provide constant inspiration and love.

and there you have it, stephanie's list o' inspiration and delight.

what makes your heart soar?

ode to my fathers

2011-06-19T20:08:00.001-04:00

dad. big smile. siblings. + me.

daddy dave + me. big smiles. love.

i am a lucky, lucky girl. i get to call and wish a happy father's day to two wonderful men. so loving in so many ways. so different, but together just the dads a girl like me needs. it's not enough to say "thank you for being a great dad," or "wish i could bbq some chicken for you tonight, dad;" no, i feel like there really isn't anything i could do or say to my fathers (or mothers) that would properly pay them the homage they deserve.

it's not that i wouldn't try, but no words or act of love could properly fulfill the grand proportion of grace, abundance, creativity, independence, and humility with which i've been parented. so i say thanks, reflect on the abundant blessings, and give a big smile to the memories which i'm so fortunate to have. then we go make some more.

either way: happy father's day to the fathers of our world. keep showing up, in the full force of love, goodness, learning and authenticity. and thanks. we're all better off for me.

it will find you

2011-06-04T15:13:00.000-04:00

abundance arrives

do you ever wonder when that longed for change will come? the opportunity you've been hoping for? the partner to delight in? the diagnosis to determine the source of the pain? the sleep you long for? the yes that comes after a long series of no's?

i don't have the change, the opportunity, the partner, the diagnosis, the sleep or the yes, or anything else you're waiting for for that matter. but i believe that whatever it is, it will find you. it will arrive however it chooses: wrapped or unwrapped; maybe a bow, maybe not. it will arrive in perfect time, in perfect form. it will be exactly the size and shape and portion you need.

all you need to do? knock. pray. go about your journey. be caught in the act of enjoying yourself. let the belief that it will find you give you great confidence.

because when we wait with great confidence, we act now as if we were already in possession of the thing that we're longing for. and being filled, we fill others. and they begin to believe the wait was worth it, too. and abundance arrives, delights, and decides to stay. for all time.

cross my heart: it will find you, too.

30 day hot yoga cleanse

2011-05-22T16:31:00.001-04:00

the journey of a 30 day hot yoga cleanse

judge not, lest you be judged: i'd like to say that i realize there is judgement and a boatload of opinions about hot yoga. i'm not exactly opposed to your arguments, but the truth is, i like hot yoga and there is a studio here in louisville where i practice that i like a lot, too. even though the instructors kick my ass every time i walk through the doors, my practice has never once been compromised; i've always left feeling strong and more connected than i was when i walked into the studio. so all i ask while you read this post is that you just hold space with me for a bit without predetermined judgements. (you can judge me in full at the end when you see my b&a pics).

first things first: wtf was i thinking? you see, i have this really charming friend, louise. she's basically my sister but not my sister and her friendship brings a lot of joy into my life. she's inspiring, down-to-earth, easy going, in love, generous, kind, and [strange as it sounds], what i love about her, i also love about me. in our 30th class together, side by side we were finishing a challenging 90-minute bikram class, and after learning the basics of the sit-up from our instructor Tom, Louise and I start beaming. We were, literally, overjoyed to learn something new, even on day 30. And as we transitioned to the next posture, Tom looked at us and said: "These two ladies in the middle are beaming with positive energy. They are shining it out, like a fountain for all of you to be showered in." Point in case. I love Louise. Something about her has always held space for me to be the me i love.

anyhow, so it was Louise's idea. she and i were both feeling, eh, sluggish? she's a jump right in kind of girl. i'm a see-saw, teeter-totter, i'll hang out on the fence kind of girl. the last day i decided i was all in. and that was that. note to self: goals motivate me.

what (the hell) is bikram? because quite literally, doing yoga in 105+ degree rooms does sound somewhat like hell to most people. "Bikram Yoga is the 26 postures sequence selected and developed by Bikram Choudhury from Hatha Yoga. ...These 26 postures systematically work every part of the body, to give all the internal organs, all the veins, all the ligaments, and all the muscles everything they need to maintain optimum health and maximum function. Each component takes care of something different in the body, and yet they all work together synergistically, contributing to the success of every other one, and extending its benefits." (from bikramyoga.com) Here is bikram's master pose: a seated spinal twist.

It should be noted that I didn't do 30 days of the bikram classes, rather, 30 days of hot yoga, including these classes: 16 bikram (2 silent), 5 power vinyasa, 3 yoga core, 3 anusara inspired, 2 hot fusion, and 1 bikramyasa.

what were the rules? the 30 day cleanse ran from april 15-may 15, you had to complete at least 29 classes, which meant you had one official skip day, and you could do up to 4 doubles (meaning, you could essentially miss one day each week and make up for it by doing two classes). I only missed one day (derby day) and did one double (the tuesday before derby day). the board at the studio was constantly updated with your "count." it was FUN to see that number grow and grow. 39 ppl signed up for the cleanse, and almost 20 finished! my friend ann def got an honorable mention (she ALSO ran the mini 3/4 thru the cleanse!) see my name at the bottom :)

the official count!

how did i fit it into my schedule? the cleanse ran from april 15-may 15, and i knew i'd be in town the entire time. it did fall during grad school finals, major work deadlines, and kentucky's most celebrated holiday: the derby. but i set an intention and i carved out time and space in my life to keep it. paul cooked a lot of dinners. i did a lot of laundry. i was a bit less social than usual. we had visitors in town and i had to slip away for a few hours. but honestly, it was all worth it. i was only late to class one time, but other than that, i looked forward to 29 of 30 classes. the one exception was a friday night about halfway through the cleanse: paul as tired of cooking, i was waddling my hamstrings were so tight, and i had never been to a "bikramyasa" class before. turns out it was absolutely just what i needed. i left feeling so peaceful and at ease. then i promptly made paul dinner :)

also: i kept this challenge to myself. other than paul, my family, our visitors (paul's parents), and a couple local friends here and there (towards the end of the challenge), i didn't really talk about the challenge. i tweeted about it, but didn't tell anyone at work, and didn't talk much about it in passing. i felt like it was an internal commitment i made, not an external one. while it certainly showed in terms of lugging yoga clothes every day to the car and schlepping laundry up and down the stairs, it was more of an inward cleanse than anything.

what impact did the cleanse have on your body? a profound one. i noticed that i didn't lose any weight (in fact, i think i gained a few pounds!) but my metabolism was working like a horse. i drank at least 80+ ounces of water each day, had a demanding appetite, and felt less of a reliance on caffeine. my digestive system was impeccable. i always have this "long & lean waist" feeling when i do hot yoga regularly. that was certainly a benefit of the cleanse. my skin was so soft, my complexion fairly clear, and my hair was curly, as usual!

did you notice any mental shifts? about every sixth yoga session, i'd notice i was really "not feeling it." which can roughly translate to: i'm tired, tired of being hot, and what day is this, anyway? the resistance really showed itself on these days, and i noticed it, and i let it go. for the majority of the classes, i'd show up ready for a challenge, practice with diligence, and watch the blossoming happen. i felt like i could constantly lift myself and others with positive thinking and diligence. and in all honestly, it worked. i loved the heightened sense of connectedness that came with the challenge. on & off the mat.

okay, okay, what physical changes did you see? are you the size 4 you've always wanted to be? cue le sigh. no, i honestly didn't notice many physical changes. my arms are noticeably stronger, my waist longer {see b&a pics at the bottom of this post!}, and my quads a bit more defined, but all in all, i didn't exactly feel like i lost weight and noticed a huge physical change. that wasn't the goal, of course, but i wouldn't have complained it i'd noticed it. i will say that i noticed something about how much i admire strong, curvy feminine women---a group you could say i identify with. in my head, i've always admired very lean women, with their flat stomachs, small chests, and perfect pencil legs. but in my heart, i realize that's not me, and i'm better learning to love what i do have than longing for what i don't have. there is a serious learning curve to deal with on this topic, but the small shift that occurred within my thinking it worth noting.

the quick & dirty facts:
1. where do you practice: betsy's hot yoga louisville (aka: HYL...note: she'll be doing a cleanse again soon!)
2. what equipment do you use? Gaiam yoga mat, yogi toes skidless mat, klean kanteen 40 oz bottle, adidas cropped pants, various technical tanks, L.L. Bean boat & tote
3. how would you rate your experience (10 high)? 9.0 solid. only better if there had been more noticeable physical changes. but otherwise blissful + challenging + dynamic + oh-so-needed!

show me the money: part of the challenge included writing a $160 to HYL. if you dropped out or didn't complete 29 classes in 30 days, she deposited your check. if you completed, you payed $30. cha-ching!

we celebrated the end of the cleanse with a crystal bowl meditation, champagne toast, and vegan cake from cake flour bakery (AH-MAZE-ing cake- you'll see this again at my wedding!) here are some pics from the celebration, and my b&a pics (where i'm looking esp rough! i don't shower before yoga, peeps. please excuse the frizzy hair.)

the celebration cake, complete with two yogi's in half moon pose :)

champagne celebration (betsy, studio owner on left and dan, louise's beau pouring champagne!)

me + louise + liz (three powerful women!)

proud yogis :)

proud yogis in half moon with betsy (studio owner) in front

the "be the flow wall", a constant, positive reminder

there you have it! little old me after 30 days of yoga!

finally, i'd like to thank my major supporter, pw, who committed as much to this cleanse as i did. your unwavering support means the world to me. your ability to help me recognize and attend to my needs is unparalleled. for every ounce i open my own heart, i find yours is ready and willing to expand, too.

hope you've enjoyed my recap! feel free to ask any questions in the comments or email me for additional details.

sending you loads of love and confidence for whatever challenges you decide to take on! i think the old wise saying "jump and the net will appear" certainly was true for this cleanse.

xoxo stephanie alaine

abandonment? no. adventures.

2011-05-17T22:12:00.000-04:00

omg. yes it has been nearly two months since my last post. yes i did consider abandoning my blog altogether, taking it out of the signature line in my personal email account, and trying to sell the domain name (ha!). but i'm back, at last, with fun adventures, to boot!

first off, just so you know, it's still crazy old me.

ready for a night at red hog~ wearing my swanky adam lippes skirt

second of all: what the hell have i been doing all this time? hmm, let me bring you up to speed. Other than working full time...

Grad School (and two A's to show for it! woot woot)
Hosting Family: Paul's and My family
Hello, first saturday in May (aka Kentucky Derby)
Getting cozy with my iPhone (long overdue)
Making delicious spring meals with farm fresh produce
Celebrating Mother's Day + Easter
Wedding Planning + Projects
Watching my brothers' band, From Coast To Skyline, release their first EP on iTunes (p.s. OMG how handsome are my brothers!)
(last but certainly not least) A 30-day hot yoga cleanse!

Tonight's post is going to be a review in photos, that's always a good way to ease back into blogging (what if i forgot how to spell?!)

Robert at HoundDog Press (save the dates sent!)

Paul working a tasting at his alma mater.

marie antoinette inspired room at whitehall

paul's parents: lovely

my parents (Easter!)

From Coast to Skyline (and heart piercing card's album cover!)

wedding project (more to come on this one)

derby thank you card (sidenote: i've still got the touch)

proper ingredients for the kentucky classic mint julep (with a rye twist)

sporting couple (excuse our matching wayfarers [paul's fault])

no joke view of the 137th running of the kentucky derby.

so there you have it! my life the past two months. oh wait, you wanted to hear about the 30 day hot yoga cleanse? how about a sneak peek picture and more soon on the process, the challenge, the heat?

10 of the 20 brave cleansers! wowza! we did it!

wooohooo! ok, so how's that for two months in photos? i've left so much out, this is a quick look at the many adventures that have been holding me. more to come. promise!

p.s. all photos are copyright heart piercing life. please do not copy them without permission.

fitbook update

2011-03-19T12:49:00.001-04:00

hello, weekend! i'm so happy you're here~ it's been a whopper of a week & today i need the permission to transport myself into full-relaxation mode. tommorrow holds a fun adventure (more on that soon!) and today is saturday: possibly my favorite day of the week. pw & i have started a new saturday morning ritual: walking frankfort avenue for connectedness & coffee, first thing once we wake up. it's quickly becoming something i look forward to (and an easy way too sneak in an extra 5,000 steps)!

as promised, i wanted to fill you all in on my newest health & wellness endeavor: fitbook!

via

as you may recall, in 2009 i found myself really motivated by writing down my workouts & keeping a food journal. this was a really empowering discipline for me, it gave me a good look at my habits & helped me set {realistic} goals and ACHIEVE them. that was empowering, inspiring & confidence-building.

after major shifts in 2010, and not quite getting my fitness bearings back, i decided to look for another "support system" and then i discovered the fitbook! this little 5.5" beauty is totally functional, well-designed and a practical companion for all your health & wellness goals. they even have a man edition, a kid edition, and a PINK edition (for breast cancer awareness). i choose the standard fitbook : )

after setting some goals for myself, i got to filling out my stats in the "current" section & scheduling 12 weeks worth of workouts! here is a glimpse:

my personalized fitbook (on top of my curly girl calendar--helped me w/scheduling!)

complete with yoga, strength training, biking, tennis, hiking, mileage goals for running & more, this little señorita is ready for an active & healthy spring! it's good to know yourself; once you determine what motivates you, you're able to put your money where you mouth is and get moving. i may have a little winter weight to shed, but more importantly, setting fitness goals & working towards achieving them makes me feel strong from the inside-0ut. it helps me be most comfortable in my own skin when i know i am moving & shaking with the best of em' : )

what motivates you once winter turns to spring? how are you kicking it into high-gear this march?

sending my love & support your way!
steph

in the middle of the sea

2011-03-07T21:17:00.000-05:00

the question is:

how did we get so far out to sea?

summer on lake michigan

and:

how are we still standing?

didn't we see the clouds rolling in?

the storm in the distance,

threatening our serenity

and

peace?

or were we,

fully,

defiantly,

in-the-moment?

finding calm in the middle of the sea is no small task.

but it is a meaningful one.

this has to be one of my favorite photos of all time.

shall i leave it up to your imagination?

or tell you more?

tell me something {totally off topic}: what energizes you?

can't wait to hear.

i'm working on finding my energy sources & tapping into them [fully]!

xoxox

stephanie

sunday loves

2011-03-06T17:24:00.000-05:00

sunday loves:

heart piercing card original. sold.

handsome as ever

in my humble opinion, sunday is for the people, activities & actions that we love.

a time for reflection, intention & space-making.

a time for chores & catchup & cleaning.

a time for family dinners,

lending your neighbor a hand,

grocery shopping,

workout planning,

play.

sundays are for reading, letter writing, schoolwork, worship, cooking, relaxing, sleeping in, paying bills, visiting with friends, leisurely lingering, washing the sheets, coloring books, and copious amounts of hot tea.

my sunday has been filled with the following {however frivolous}:

paul's early spring frittata

spending time with my first fitbook (more on that this week)

sipping h20 with a lemon slice out of my new bpa free vessel tumbler

shredding it with jillian michaels

picking out a few new essential pieces for my work wardrobe at gap

grocery shopping with pw @ whole foods

making tuna salad for the week (healthy lunch: planned!)

and now:

mardi gras family dinner tonight!

these are my sunday loves. spent with the ones i love.

that feels really grounding. really special.

i hope you're enjoying a sunday of your kind.

filled with what energizes & prepares you for a great week ahead.

sending you much love.

xoxox

stephanie

take a hike

2011-02-27T11:16:00.000-05:00

"And what we've found is that we should be focusing on how we feel from day to day,

not on how we can become happy with life in general.

If you focus on day-to-day feelings, you end up building your resources

and become your best version of yourself.

Down the road, you'll be happier with life.

Rather than staring down happiness as a goal and asking ourselves,

"How do I get there?"

we should be thinking about how to create positive emotions in the moment."

-Barbara Fredrickson,

on her research findings about The Science of Happiness (via e.wat)

[if you're a quote skipper, i recommend you re-reading that one. it's crucial!]

i love hiking.

i really love bernheim forest.

but today i'm sick in bed

(i'll forgo the photo, tyvm).

sick, but:

studying for a midterm (research methods),

reading/studying for my other class (theories in health promotion for communities/groups),

and trying to rest up for a busy first part of the week.

do you ever catch yourself,

busy in the midst of it all,

thinking: what was i thinking?

it happens, yep, it happens,

to all of us, as we faithfully plug along.

we're uncertain of our footing.

we not sure what ever convinced us to leap in the first place.

we're fooled into thinking comfortable but unhappy was, somehow, better

or easier, at least.

when uncomfortable, hiking the unexpected path,

where

encounter

true life,

love,

and

adventure.

maybe i'm just an adventure seeker.

with a big heart.

but i think i'm onto something here.

what do you think?

if you're well: take a hike.

if you're not: join me in restful pursuit of those daily goals.

sending love your way.

xoxox

stephanie

short letters to the world, second installation

2011-02-21T23:04:00.001-05:00

dear pants: why you gotta be so tight these days?

dear green tea: you're really working my patience, this whole 4% of the caffeine in coffee bull. as if that health-inducing excitement was enough to help me kick my terrible, under-caffeinated mood.

dear wedding plans: move yourself promptly to the front burner. its officially time to get this party started.

dear rae: paul & i always laugh more when you've been here. thanks for making a sunday night so fun! and bringing delicious 1970's slow-cooker sweet potato chili. you're the best.

dear research methods class: giving me an assignment to "review the following statistical concepts and techniques" on wikipedia is just asking for me to spend two hours scrolling through carol hannah's blog and coveting other people's lives.

dear yogi teas: your inspiration quotes are my favorite. every tea bag should have a string and a zen quote attached. i'm particularly fond of purely peppermint and rejuvenating (caution: see above) green tea.

oh damn, yogi teas: now you've really done it. you have a well wishes tree? and i can send myself a little hope note with a life-sized version of my favorite teabag mantra (of late?). now i REALLY love you. {yes, yes i did send myself a well wish, signed by, myself. }

dear pw: this is a big week for you! i am so proud of you for continuing to believe in your passions and for continuing to put one foot in front of the another as you follow your path. this is a big shift, and i am hear with confetti, champagne & kisses, ready to celebrate you!

dear iron & wine: we go way back and i love you more each album.

dear tanner, college-brother who is probably way too cool to be calling me on a monday night but you did anyway and we had a really wonderful conversation, complete with you telling me how much you like my art work and sealing the call with a solid "i love you steph." you don't know how much that means to little old me.

dear we yoga's power vinyasa class that got cancelled tonight because the power went out on that one block of downtown louisville: boooo. i was looking forward to that all day. i'll be back for more next week!

dear stomach: its almost time for your favorite dish of the year: walnut miso noodles with fresh veggie toppings acting as sprinkles. i love sprinkles!

dear monday: you were a whopper. but a sister has got to laugh, some how, some way. short letters to the world have a way of making that possible.

one small truth

2011-02-20T18:17:00.000-05:00

we could all, always, use an extra dash of joy.

a smile that lightens your load just enough.

two baby teeth grinning your way,

reminding you of one small truth:

love always wins.

happy sunday, friends.

xoxox

stephanie

p.s. ebr: aunt steffi loves you!

the unveiling

2011-02-17T19:41:00.000-05:00

sometimes life is really tough. take today. really tough but really good. and i mean really good. because the tough got turned to love. in this very moment, i am so thankful for the brave chords that get struck when life gets really tough, and i'm so thankful for brave souls whose lives tell the tale of the tender space of vulnerability.

women who come immediately to mind: my mother(s), my sister, bréne brown, kelly rae roberts, my grandmothers (4), kaileen elise, analiese marie, victoria wall harris, ashley chaplain. these women mentor me into courage, fullness, life.

heart piercing cards original. sold.

in the tender space of their vulnerability, i have gotten to see their wisdom. i get to learn about being wholehearted. "brave in sadness, brave in love." willing to step up to the plate with all my fierceness, but with gratitude, humility, anxiety, curse words, patience, peace and most of all: love.

i get to learn the lessons of life. the oh-so-important, "how did i ever live without knowing this?!" these lessons feel life changing. i can't exactly describe it, but its like going on a jog or driving in the car and hearing a song that you feel like was written, recorded, and played for you right in this very moment. as though it was all meant to be and by god, you're actually hearing the words and processing them and they are touching the place within, so deep down and yet so present in every waking moment. that i'm running on the clouds and open up to all the possibility.

have you had moments like that? heart-widening, wing-strengthening, soul-gripping moments that feel like this is whats its all about.

other moments in life that have made me feel this way: seeing my nieces for the first time. falling in love. watching my younger brothers become men. that letter from wendell berry. drives home from the therapist's office. long walks with my college roommates, times when we found ourselves among one another's support and deep love. family interventions. flying home from spain. mid-way through the austin half marathon. after the fourth of july art fair. when i achieved my goal weight. riding my bike through the park on the perfect day. listening to chinese translation on the bus ride home that one day. mondo beyondo.

i'm trying not too look back, rather, i'm trying to feel back. feel deep into that space that feels so alive.

and the spark? honesty. leaning into my fears with a dedication to faith, goodness, and vulnerability. oh my goodness, the unveiling that occurs when you dare to seek, wholeheartedly, the ghosts, demons, and more. these are unexplored opportunities for your growth, your faith, your fullness.

i'm overwhelmed with the fullness i feel. the gratitude that is bubbling at the surface of my being, much like the fine effervescence in a glass of champagne on the most special evening.

thank you, thank you, thank you for being you: the brave soul. the courageous, willing one who hurdles even the highest obstacles with such faith. my soul is singing.

xoxoxoxoxoxxo
stephanie

changed perspective

2011-02-13T12:24:00.000-05:00

i've been working on a blog post about bellies for more than two weeks. it's the worst case of writers block i've ever come up against. this post is hiding out in my insides as a product of twenty six years of belly-tangled emotions, expectations, and fortunately-or-unfortunately: the desire to be hidden. stay tuned... that's coming up once i can process further.

in the interim and on a completely different note, i found this photo on my friend erin's sister's facebook profile (no joke! hi kelsey!) and i downloaded the hi-res version (hello new facebook feature!) and in an instant it struck me as what we all need from time to time. no, no, not a headstand, however, those are very conducive to the end product: a changed perspective.

a changed perspective

sure. we need blue skies (hello, florida); sisters; sand between our toes; comfortable hoodies; long walks; fresh water; good friends; and warm, sunny days; but most of all, we need the opportunity to turn ourselves upside down and see the world from a different point of view.

what you can't tell from this picture, is that erin just took a huge, major leap. erin: my amazing friend i met halfway around the world, who has been known to do headstands, who i ran the austin half marathon with a year ago tomorrow, who layed her dreams out on canvas, erin who still owes HPL readers a recap of her yoga retreat, erin the extraordinaire...

erin quit her job, bought a plane ticket to india, drove her car halfway across the country (with her adorable pup Colby), and is gearing up for the wedding experience of a lifetime (hi ramji!). she pretty much wasn't going to settle for the status quo any more, so she is letting her life guide her from this place, forward. with trust, hope and solid inner knowing.

her story, these kinds of stories, give me a lot of hope. they flip my anxious ways onto their head and remind them who's boss. if order to live a really full life, must one choose the things, the places, the people, the opportunities that make them come alive? i think so. and i think that's true for erin, for me, and for you, too.

it's been a mondo beyondo week over here (hi pw! your stories next!), and despite the excavating that's still left to be done (hello, belly post), there is a lot to celebrate, and a lot to get still about, too. hope you find the opportunity for the changed perspective.

i hope you enjoy a happy sunday filled to the brim with the goodness that makes you come alive.

xoxo stephanie

p.s. i know erin will read this post, so if you have a moment, feel free to leave her a hope note in the comments: i know she'll tuck them into the pockets of her heart as she embarks on this next adventure! xoxo

keep it simple

2011-01-31T22:24:00.000-05:00

surprise! happy birthday, caroline!

surprises. sisters. simplicity. sexy dresses. support. someone to talk to. sitting still. sticking to your guns. scheming goodness. snooze button. schoolwork. spontaneity. sparkling wine. solitude. i'm overwhelmed with the goodness of the obvious these days. that the simple joys are most often the ones that move us to the core.

i had the absolute pleasure of surprising my sister with a surprise visit for her birthday weekend, and, as you can tell, she was beside herself with excitement. and so surprised. it might not get better than this. we had such a blast. a honkin' good time. all of this thanks to my brother in law, whose idea it was.

you may not know this, but at one point in my life i was a sorority girl {gasp?}. and while that is a closed chapter of my life, there is one quote from KD that i will always carry with me: “OUT OF SUCH PURE AND SIMPLE BEGINNINGS GROW GREAT AND WONDERFUL THINGS,” - LENORA ASHMORE BLACKISTON

maybe she's onto something, huh? keep it simple. one foot in front of the other. tipping towards the positive. showing up in simplicity and, therefore, fullness. starting the day off right.
sending love to you.
♥
♥
♥
stephanie

practice. practice. practice.

2011-01-19T20:56:00.001-05:00

i know this.

but sometimes i forget this:

our gifts are our gifts.

there is no denying them.

this weekend, i made a custom card for a fellow colleague...

and it was great!

i'd forgotten, just how much i LOVE to make these.

outside of custom card

to capture a combination of diverse elements about a person

and to create something beautiful to honor that! what a joy that is.

inside of custom card

so the lesson then is this: practice using your gift.

well, first, figure out what it is.

then:

practice,practice, practice.

be kind to yourself.

be generous to others.

understand the power of goodness.

then:

practice.

xoxo stephanie alaine

p.s. speaking of practice, i'm willing to discuss making a custom card (or valentine) for you. i typically charge $10 for a custom card. time is of the essence these days, so act swiftly if you're interested. email me at stephanieDOTtabbATgmailDOTcom

a grounded 2011

2011-01-15T13:36:00.000-05:00

practice creative affirmations

hellooooo, mid-January:
fancy seeing you here. i thought i had a bit more time to carve out space for intention; alas, you have arrived. much like new years past, 2011 has come quickly & continues to unravel at a swift pace.

much like last year, i made space for christine kane's word of the year worksheet. i started with a fresh worksheet, then i took my finest pen (oh you know me & pens!) and got to work. the excavation. the road blocks. the wisdom down-deep. she says: "when the word you choose is authentically you-- you'll continually be surprised at what it teaches you throughout the year."

my lovely stepmom alicia completed the worksheet in a day and found her words for the year: serene honesty. that'a girl: way to get clear & focused. and to make it a real one-two punch, that lucky little duck asked for the best christmas present i could ever think to give: MONDO beyondo! (which just so happened to start on her birthday! go binky go.) 2011 will hold some goodness & abundance & discovery for her. for you. and for me, too.

from the w-o-t-y worksheet, a word, a concept, emerged for me: grounded. defined as being "mentally and emotionally stable; admirably sensible, realistic & unpretentious."

after a major growth spurt in 2010, and refinement, challenge & change, i am ready, really ready, to get grounded. many that know me would tell you that i do chaos really well. i'm a master multi-tasker. from my reflection: "My current default is to throw it into panic mode & barrell through." {Sidenote: the vulnerability that emerges as I type that is daunting. and thick.} But it is my current way. And we can't celebrate growth or depth if we don't take a true account of the way things are.

so 2011 will be about the flow. and enjoying it. and finding a peaceful pace among the pack. not lead. not follow. steady commitment, deep rooting, intimate exploration, firm foundation, inner knowing.

grounded & knowing deeply that all stages of growth are meaningful & opportunities for possibility: digging, planting, waiting, changing seasons, budding, blossoming, changing colors, drying out, falling, decomposing, replanting. and the cycle begins again.

I think it needs to be mentioned that i have a firm belief: seeds will bloom. I have no doubt that any ounce of dream or desire that lies within each of us will come to fruition in due time. I understand that is a bold statement, yet i say that with a firmness & a fierceness that will scare away even the darkest inner gremlins. it is not a lesson I learned the easy way. it came with time. and in due time.

something sideswiped me yesterday. "bad news bears," as my sister and i used to say growing up. disappointment. a change of course. and i sobbed. and it was sad. and did i mention, disappointing? but guess what? this is life.

filled with an inherent goodness, the right opportunities, and yes, the right seeds. so when a course changes? we change. we take time to process, mourn losses, get grounded, and then, move forward. its a chance, an opportunity to display our graces, stake our course, encounter obstacles, and overcome them.

sad story aside, i know that this year holds opportunity aplenty. and this is one of many of the leaps & bounds i'll encounter. and if i take this one in stride, i'll be better prepared for the next. and if i can grow because of it, then damn. i make out on the better end of the bargain, don't i?

2011, i plan to hold you close. get to know you. call you my friend. encounter you with grace, honesty & an inner knowing. among my plans are these details:

keep loved ones close.

celebrate at every corner. {often with champagne}

keep love in focus.

tell my true story {artwork by ali edwards.}

ceremoniously be wed to pw {image source}

strengthen my yoga practice

keep body & mind healthy & whole

so: without further adieu, i greet a grounded 2011 with my whole heart & offer my whole self to its lessons, possibilities and wonder.
xoxo
stephanie alaine

add it up

2011-01-13T21:10:00.001-05:00

when we look at that of which our lives are composed, we are, without a doubt, and sometimes all at the same time: threatened, ready to explore, protective, full-hearted, patient, curious.

when i look ahead into 2011, my numbers add up like this: 1 full time career. 2 graduate courses. 1 fiance. 1 wedding to plan. 3 races to run (this spring). 4 bloggers to collaborate with. 10 days in ireland. 2 fantastic mothers. 1 wellcoach exam. 4 siblings. 2 nieces to love on & watch grow. 1 really good idea to execute. and 1, just 1, new years resolution.

not saying i'm a big deal or anything, because, let's be honest: that's really not that much. anyone who was focused, organized, strategic might laugh at my list & start singing "the sound of music" because this is patty-cake material to them. but not me, oh no. i am somehow curious & overwhelmed all at the same time.

maybe it's because my career means a lot to me.
maybe it's because some small part of me has always loved seeing an A on my report card.
maybe it's because pw deserves the best attention, not sloppy seconds to my dramatic ______ story.
maybe it's a lot of things.
but i know for sure it's one thing: it is my one, wonderous life.

i want to look back every year and say that i've grown. to keep some kind of inner journal of growth.
and whether i mean to or not, to account for things the way they really are. not to create confusing calculations about my existence through anxiety, gossip, drama, worry. to firmly say, "damn! 2009 finally taught me how goal-oriented i am." or "oh yes, 2014 was the year i learned to love my belly. it only took me 30 years."

2010 taught me a lot. i can't say enough about my growth: inwardly and outwardly. (and i can't tell you how tempted i am to get a tattoo by betsy dunlap that reads "golden." but where would i put it?!?! thoughts?)

mom, it's official. i need a tattoo.

more importantly, 2011 is here. and i am awake and alive and counting my blessings. and getting real familiar with what is good & heart-filling & awakening. and letting go of fatigue, fear, heaviness as much as i can. there is a lot to love out there. time to get to it.

holding space for intention {letting go of fear}

2011-01-06T22:59:00.000-05:00

there is a decent amount of pressure at the beginning of each new year, to carve out an intention, to look deep within and evaluate, in a meaningful way, the truth of ones inner landscape. what's working and what's not. while this effort can be as serious or as lighthearted as you please, in the true seeing, there is an epiphany.

sneak peek of my 2011 pictures, taken by victoria wall

when we hold up the mirror in our lives, take account of the way things are, the stories we tell ourselves, the outcome of this honest evaluation can scare us. shake us. cause us to reconsider whether taking a deep look was ever a good idea in the first place. and the opposite is also true: we can play charades with our real selves. allowing our true intentions to be masked with others' opinions. remember this: the beauty is in the discovery.

that's how i felt last year when i laid out the intention to live out my golden year. the gremlin who's mantra is "and who do YOU think YOU are?" showed up in full force. but instead of shudder back in fear, i didn't something i'm not sure i'd ever done before: i stood my ground. i knew my needs and i wasn't turning back. uncomfortable? terribly. terrifying? in every way. worth it? hell yes.

there is something about an intention that strikes me as too simple to believe in its effectiveness. and i admit i had my doubts last year. but my goodness, what a golden year.

i can't thank you enough for traveling with me through that journey. for sharing in the celebrations & the challenges. for showing up when i was distant, for braving chill & warmth, energy & exhaustion. for sending me along my way even when the way was unclear. i thank my lucky stars, the good god, the spirit of love that leads us all. i am undoubtedly grateful in so many ways.

and now: 2011 is here. you're here and i'm here and its time {again! already? so soon?!} for intention. i am not sure any year will every be like my golden year: which was something between the 1849 California Gold Rush and the exact definition of re·fine·ment/riˈfīnmənt/Noun 1. The process of removing impurities or unwanted elements from a substance.

but i do know this: we can be ready for whatever will find its way into our lives. because we can trust this process. collectively, we can know that we were meant for these dreams, and lean so trustingly into the unknown, seeking support from one another as we live out these well-meant intentions.

so as i spent just another day or so carving mine out, you can know that i'm holding space for yours, too.

two thousand eleven: hello!

2011-01-03T20:55:00.000-05:00

two-thousand-eleven: here are my open arms!

i am so glad to turn the corner to a new year. i couldn't have asked for a better way to ring in the new year than a trip to new york city with handsome pw & darling friends!!

just a few quick snapshots of our adventures. more stories & resolutions & reverb10 wrap up to come this week!

twinkling lights & magical traditions

happy baby eleanor

pw in his element: the NYC food scene.

blushing & happier than a peach. see empire state building on the right?

sending love & cheer ahead of us all for 2011.

xoxo

stephanie

reverb 10: travel!

2010-12-23T17:00:00.000-05:00

so you know what gets me, almost everyday, of this journey through reverb10? the synchronicity of it all! 2011 is absolutely turning out to be remarkable~thanks to the reflection & manifestation of all this goodness that abounds.

December 22 – Travel

How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

you won't believe me when i tell you what i'm about to tell you {or maybe you will!} but here's what news i received exactly one day before this prompt: I'm going to Ireland in April!!!! And I just found out on Tuesday. and the best part? It's work travel to an amazing conference: The 2nd Annual World Social Marketing Conference in Dublin! Wow---I'm so excited I can hardly stand myself! A few reasons:

1. I've been hard at work on a pilot program at the University of Louisville, and this program has been accepted for a paper/presentation at the Conference. I'll be attending alongside some spectacular individuals, a Communication professor and the director of UofL's Health Management Program (aka: my boss).

2. I haven't been out of the country in way too long!

3. PW gets to join in on all the fun! We're going to make a vacation of it.

southwest ireland via

So, 2011, travel? yes please. I'm so thrilled. And if you're thinking "you should get married over there!!!", hear this: you're not the first one to think/say that. Ironically (or maybe NOT), I have always adored the wedding in Tristan & Isolde (my FAVORITE movie), where part of the ceremony involves Isolde floating in on a river raft made of logs with her paddling bridesmaids. I'm sure my sister would totally go for that, don't you think?

cheers to Ireland!!!

trust what's ahead, 2011

2010-12-21T20:54:00.001-05:00

{to be completely honest, i've been lying in bed/in pajamas since yesterday evening at 5:30pm. read: 27+hours of achy & exhausted & resting. my body needed rest &it hit me hard monday morning. in an effort to be well, i listened. and its amazing what our bodies say when we listen. a. maze. ing! so here goes reverb10 after hanging in my nest alone like a little bird waiting for its wings}

beething's adorable nesting birds print available here

someone once told me that if God ever told us exactly what was coming, we'd never get out of bed.

if we had known what 2010 would bring, either we'd have been really eager or really scared (and perhaps some of the inbetween). never present. never peaceful. never with the ebb & flow of life.

i think said someone told me that when i was sixteen and my high school boyfriend had kissed another girl. classy. and by classy, i mean not classy. and you know...

drama ensued. my whole world came crashing down because he kissed some other girl. in my corner of the world when i was a mere 16, i believed in the Jake Ryan's of the world: handsome, faithful, and ahem, behind the wheel of a porsche 911 turbo.

in the long run, the hot lips boyfriend wasn't that big of a deal (imagine that) but the lesson, that we can't know what our days will hold, has stuck to my ribs in the most meaningful way.

in a way that all things stick that are, at the same time, so poignant and so challenging.

the reverb10 prompt today had me thinking:

what will 2011 hold and who am i to know

(or even guess at it)

2010 was so blow-me-out-of-the-water good that i feel like all i can do these days is rise & shine & give every day my most whole-hearted self.

i could get specific, perhaps and write a letter to 2011 outlining a wee bit of what i hope for. i will CERTAINLY map out a dream-board and make plans to greet the year with inspired action, but let's be very honest: i have a knowing deep inside that guides my decision making & {truthfully} has yet to fail me. call it what you may (God, intuition, the inner compass), but i have every faith that it will serve me well in 2011.

i hope you hold the same certainty (and challenge) in your chest as you approach the coming year.
xoxo
stephanie

reverb10: ebb & flow

2010-12-20T19:28:00.000-05:00

i know i'm not the only one feeling ever-so-slightly behind on my reverb10 posts. we could talk about that for days though, and talk about all the reasons why we're behind and whats been holding us and why we've thought about giving up and on & on. but in my heart of hearts, i think only one thing need be said:

reverb10 is all about the ebb & flow.

so gear up for a good long post and lets get to it! i am going to get specific, and ATTEMPT to keep this to a minimum of <3 sentences per prompt. think i can do it?

December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

EASY! Next steps:

1) set wedding date.

2) sign up for road race(s).

3) sign up for wellness coaching certification.

December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

More than ever before, I appreciate the lives and stories of people sitting around the table with me. In the boardroom, on barstools, at the beach; I continue to find myself alongside human beings whose stories have meaning, value & heart. I feel able to listen with less judgement, more appreciation & increased gratitude than ever before.

December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

(breaking my three sentence rule in place of a time limit. the prompt made me!) 2010 in three word sentences for 5 minutes. go! my golden year. pursuit of passions. change, challenge, & courage. picnic with paul. engaged! austin half marathon. get healthy now. eleanor beatrice. wing-wide. heart-centered. 2,400 miles to austin. celebration of love. back to school. new york city. energy & vitality.

December 16 – Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

The covenant of friendship is more sacred to me than ever before. I have seen how as our lives change, that which is central takes a certain focus, and we must determine, everyday, in each moment, what matters most. Knowing that, in a deep way, allows us to honor the decisions of our friendships, hold space for one another in a light-hearted way, while also honoring the beauty (and certainty) of change.

December 17 – Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

I learned that I have gifts & talents that are recognized in many capacities, and the power to manifest my dreams in concrete ways, through simple actions & unwavering faith. This will be a lesson that is learned and relearned throughout the years.

December 18 – Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

Kaileen, I'm so glad you asked! I didn't manifest something that I think would be beneficial and lead to increased well-being for many people. Its on the list for 2011. Stay tuned...

December 19 – Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leonie Allan)

I never told the blog world about my sudden leg problem before the half-mary or about the little aches and pains along the way. I'm so grateful for my health & wellbeing, the little things always work themselves out. ;)

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell)

I despise the world should, but in all truth: I should have been more reflective, more generous, more kind. 2010 was so good to me & there isn't enough that I could give or do or be out of the gratitude I hold for this year. 2011 will certainly offer up those opportunities. I just know it!

short letters to the world

2010-12-16T11:27:00.000-05:00

dear grapefruit: you're delicious and i could eat you every morning if i had the patience & time.

dear snowday: i mean, iceday really, you were much needed.

dear one legged squats on a bench: i found muscles in my butt & legs i never knew existed. sitting down was easy before you. see sarah eat knows what i'm talking about.

dear acorn & butternut squash roasting in the oven: you know i love you.

dear christmas cards: you could, quite possibly, be my favorite part of the holiday season. sending swanky holiday cheer to those near & far? gahh, i love it!

dear mailman: yes, that is my RETURN TO SENDER envelope you have in your hand, couldn't you tell as i handed you 6 envelopes that look exactly the same? whatd'ya know? an extra stamp for mailing things to canada.

dear earl gray tea: i think i'm convinced you're a pretty good substitute for coffee. don't tell coffee.

dear painter & sculptor extraordinaire (aka: my hairdresser): you rock. there is nothing like a refresh on my roots & a little off here & there to make me feel like a babe.

dear dental assistant who probed my gums yesterday in three-spots on each tooth then told me "you would do well to floss more often:" DUH! i already knew that.

dear coffee: i lied to earl gray tea. i don't know what i would've done without you yesterday after that gum-probing.

dear bréne brown: i just got my inspiration bundle in the mail (personalised & autographed bookplates, bookmarks, & inspiration cards). and you better believe i am singing your praises. so loud my neighbors can probably here. no shame here, bréne. no shame!

dear house: i'm going to clean you in just a minute. promise.

dear reverb10: you're really turning me upside down & making me think deeply about this year. i needed that in a major way. i'm really appreciative of the hard work of kaileen elise, gwenbell, and caligater for pulling this together. there are many ways to thank you. this is one.

dear NYC: see you in a few weeks! ready to rock this.

dear golden year: you have shown me a few tricks, a few treats, and a whole lot of refinement. i wouldn't trade you for anything. nop, nothing. you've been solid, sparkling, and just what i needed.

full body integration: reverb day 12

2010-12-13T20:57:00.002-05:00

December 12 – Body Integration: This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

Reverb 10- day 12

This goes without giving it too much thought: Half marathon self= body+mind+spirit =totally intertwined!

Read more here: the strong self

reverb 10: a little catchup session

2010-12-12T13:35:00.000-05:00

wowza, i thought i was only a day or two behind. turns out i'm four. oh well. keep on, keepin on! i took the entirety of my day to think about yesterday's prompt: #11. and looking back at the ones i've missed, i'm comfortable moving straight on to #11. not that i don't like to think about cultivating community, celebrations, and the wisest decision of 2010, but because these aspects have been fully integrated into my work and life this year. new job, new blog friends, seeing some of my close friends be married; 2010 has been a loving, wise whirlwind, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

walk the golden way. it's hard to find, but there is a golden thread to walk on.

moving right along, i'll start with this prompt, a la yesterday:

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

PW can confirm: I am the queen of making lines in the sand. It must be tough to live with me, because one day i'm a vegetarian not drinking coffee or eating sweets, and the next day i'm training for a marathon and losing 15 pounds, and the next day i'm craving a hamburger and SERIOUSLY, please bring home some grass-fed beef!

So this elimination list, oh yeah, shame wanted to have a HEYDAY with this one. I had to think about it all day long, and read everybody elses lists, and cozy up with my own judgement and shame for a bit. Then, covered in the weight of comparison, discontent, and totally disarmed (no courage, capacity to make a meaningful decision, a bit sad), i finally crashed. like whatever. what a lame prompt. la la la la la...and not in a christmas carol kind of way.

Finally, i got a hold of myself, conjured up the courage to shut down the lap top and go on a run. I got all my gear on, stepped outside, and it started to rain. I said, "WTH, I'm going anyway." Grabbed Paul's raincoat, and hit the pavement. I never felt so much resolve. Such satisfaction.

Knowing your own breath and listening to your own heartbeat is a healing, spiritual act.

I encourage each one of us to explore that connection (which interestingly enough leads us to prompt day 12---those reverb folks are SMART!).

So I came back to the house with a clarity that surpassed all the judgement, shame and discontent. I wasn't going to settle for a list of what I shouldn't have, I was going to generate 11 things that were truly getting in the way of me finding the fine golden thread each day. That's a long story, but its a true one. And I really felt like sharing.

11 Things to Eliminate in 2011:

The Snooze Button: You know the drill. Roll over: Snooze. Snooze. Snooze. "SHIT! It's 8:30!" No more. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I am determined.
Stomach Aches: When I'm eating properly, I don't have knots in my abdomen. I know what causes it, and I know exactly how to keep it from occurring.
Clutter: Piles of what I did yesterday around the house just give me another thing to trip on.
Shortcuts: I am the queen of cutting corners. Dropping things. Taking too much on at one time and needing to modify. Will take the long way, the real way.
Shoulder pain: I haven't shared this on the blog, but I've been dealing with persistent shoulder pain since earlier this year. Ergonomics at my workstation? Worsening posture? I'm really not sure, but I'm ready to get healing.
Negative Self-Talk: Little by little. Let the negativity be replaced with affirmations.
Ill-fitting clothes: A great looking work wardrobe is expensive, but worth every penny. That goes for fun clothes, too.
Seconds: This idea was borne out of Michael Pollan's S policy: "No snacks, no seconds, no sweets — except on days that begin with the letter S.” Sometimes I eat too fast and its a weird reflection of this "never enough" belief---(see #9)----so eliminating seconds will hopefully help me appreciate the abundance of round one.
Lack: I was telling PW that I want to practice a belief in Abundance in 2011. I don't know what that means, but this is a preliminary thing to eliminate...I can get a feeling of lack pretty easily "nothing in this fancy NY boutique will fit me." "They never have size 11 shoes." "Waaa waaa waaaa" Plays into #7 & #8, no?
Noise: Lately I've noticed I have struggled with silence. I want to call my mom or turn up the radio the second I get in the car for my drive home. I think this is a pretty stark reflection of what a busy bee I've been---and that's OK---but I want to get rid of some of the noise in my life. The constant internet access, the lack of journaling, the dine & dash meals, the fully-charged ipod on every run. Silence can be so healing, and necessary in this noisy world we live in. I really want to appreciate it anew in 2011.
Sentences that start with "When I..." ...sign up for another race, ...get enough money, ...find the exact time, etc. etc. etc. If 2010 has taught me anything, it is that RIGHT NOW, in this VERY PRECIOUS moment, you can be, do, have, and appreciate every thing you've ever dreamed of. Live your dream. and start this very minute.

If you've read this far, you're brave, and I am appreciative. Thanks for holding this space with me, without judgement or comparison. Its time for some fresh air and a loud heartbeat.

Sending love, xoxo

stephanie

my favorite christmas card/custom work order...ever!

2010-12-11T12:38:00.000-05:00

i interrupt my regularly scheduled reverb post to share my favorite christmas card/custom work order...ever!

one of my nearest & dearest had moved to austin, tx a few years ago, and being the path maker she is, she picked up a new hobby: Yoga.

this is someone who, quite literally, couldn't touch her toes.

she: speaks fluent spanish, has seen many corners of the globe, does the gator chomp, and can eat massive amounts of galletas. she lives your cut-of-the-mill adventure-filled life.

so when she asked me to make her a custom card to gift her favorite yoga instructors with, i was, to say the least, flattered. i just found the picture of it in the archives of my computer and wanted to share with you today.

let's spend more time in this posture during 2011.

let's turn 2011 on its head

excavate all the goodness waiting to be unearthed.

sending love.

xoxox stephanie

p.s. i love custom work requests. please contact me if you're interested.

reverb10: day 8: different & beautiful

2010-12-08T20:03:00.000-05:00

Prompt: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

day 8 of reverb 10.

the things that make me {beautifully} different.

i am the most proud aunt i know.

i love to move. dance. run.

my grandmothers (i have 4) are some of my favorite people.

i never straighten my hair. but, when i do... i feel pretty sexy ;)

i LOVE colored sprinkles. like, REALLY love them.

i have beautifully big feet. ahem, size 11.5. but let me tell you: they've gotten me so far!

i love to make things: more on that here.

i have many little quirks: i love pw. gorgeous paper. traveling. wine. decorative pillows. honest conversation. change. challenges. jeopardy. goal-setting. redken products. my nieces. but the biggest of my quirky beauties is that i hold a deep knowing that i'm loved. no matter what. thick & think. belly to belly kind of love. the kind of love that doesn't change with the season, it only evolves. this a deep knowing and one that influences everything the i am. different & beautiful still. loved always.

xoxo stephanie

day 6: make.

2010-12-06T20:49:00.000-05:00

reverb 10 day 6 Prompt: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

oh gretchen, i'm so glad you asked! i've been wanting to share this project for a while! i have a darling friend paula who is a colleague, a stress-management facilitator, a fashionista, a mentor, a ZUMBA instructor, and perhaps most importantly: a dear friend.

for her birthday, i made a "wonderful things about Paula jar," inspired by this project over at kenner road {which i've been wanting to do since 2008! thank god for bookmarks!}. i started with a clean little jar who in a previous life held roasted red peppers.

step one: find a suitable jar & pull up the tutorial (online)!

step two: gather good looking paper scraps

step three: thread top paper to base paper. use beautiful sparkling thread. hole punch both ends of wrap.

step four: use adhesive to firmly adhere wrap to jar.

step five: make "label" (used turquoise paper, french dictionary, marker & sparkling gold frame)
then use glue stick to adhere to wrap.

step six: use different color thread to hold wrap together firmly.
place buttons on both ends for decor. decorate top of jar with coordinating papers.

step seven: use scraps of coordinating papers and bundle for people to leave a special love note.

upon completion, i think you'll notice you've offered your creativity time to surface, and others' the opportunity to celebrate someone you admire! i try furiously to carve out time for this kind of goodness because its reward benefits me exponentially.

day 5: let go

2010-12-05T22:59:00.000-05:00

day 5 Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

wow. this one is always a work in progress, no? i'm always practicing non-attachment to something, be it a big event in the future (wedding anyone?) or comment that rubbed me the wrong way (seriously!?!). but in a deeper way, letting go moment by moment will always be a work in progress. a non-ending cycyle. and i'm at peace with that.

this year i let go of what i knew in order to receive what i could only hope for. in a lot of ways, i think many of my reverb posts will reflect this same sentiment. 2010 was a big one. a life shaker. and in a very good way, i felt both boundless & safe. i let go of mediocrity (thank god!) and freed my hands up to embrace adventure, new horizons & limitless possibility.

looking back, i see that i let go of the molehills for the mountains, and i tell you what: the view is damn good. the hills are steep but my legs are strong. and the valleys? also totally worth it. go. go. go.
let. let. let. go. go. go.
let go.

p.s. went hiking at bernheim today. this imagery is so fresh. more on that adventure soon!

reverb 10 days three & four

2010-12-04T12:05:00.000-05:00

conveniently, days three and four are a mash-up for me. perhaps the moments i remember are also those that fill me with wonder. perhaps its because i want it that way, or because that's the way it happens for me. but that's how i remember it. here are the prompts:
day 3: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
day 4: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

this year was really about being more alive for me. it was about the leaps & bounds, not the chains & bindings. mostly in regards to my personal quest to be more me and less reserved in life. but a moment when i was most aware of this alive feeling, humph. hard to come up with this one. i sat with it and thought about standard responses i could use:

half marathon! i did it!
new awesome, soul-awakening job! woohooo
engaged! to the most wonderful pw.

but in all honesty-those weren't moments, those were monumental life shifts. those were huge. those were stories for grandchildren. a moment is one you savour. a moment is one you think: this will never be the same. a moment is an instant. and for me, a moment that is memorable is almost always one filled with wonder. so while i was stuck, day three's prompt became day four's prompt. perfect timing, reverb 10.

the moment of wonder occurred at my dear friend victoria's wedding weekend in section, alabama.

it occurred as i stood alongside some of the most talented, intelligent & whole hearted woman i know.

{the ones that weren't present that day, i held in my heart in a special way}

and not only did we stand together, but i saw how much we'd grown thanks to one another.

these were the women i met in college--freshman year--who ended up becoming some of my closest companions on the journey of life.

but the moment:

sunshine and alabama.

dresses and fresh flowers.

seeing the world through a soft net.

standing among some of the most gracious people i know.

seeing so clearly that i, too, must bring something deep & wise to that group.

the awe and beauty of who these women are, led me to see my own wonder clearly.

and seeing, we believe.

and believing is a powerful thing

because our inner whispers change pace.

our confidence turns into courage, grace, motivation.

and these tools fill us with the spirit to:

dance

speak from the heart

run

write

cook

rest

tell our story

listen well

create

hold hands

serve others

and

so much more.

talk about a moment of wonder.

xoxo stephanie

day two {a day late}

2010-12-03T17:37:00.000-05:00

it's appropriate that i skipped day two, right? the prompt:

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

ahem. well. i write all day long: i craft emails that i wordsmith meticulously because i care deeply and passionately about great customer service. however, when i get home, and i'm on "my time," i don't write for me with the same care & compassion.

blogging, letter writing, and heart-to-heart emails to friends are too few and far between. everyone says this, and its also true for me: by the time i've worked 8+ hours in front of a computer screen, and written 20+ page papers for graduate school, i'm literally want NOTHING to do with a computer.

but i'm still guilty of not journaling or writing the letters, too. i'm often too busy in the present moment to be present, and that's something i certainly want to work on. there is no excuse.

still, in spite of the exhaustion and fatigue, i need to write more honor on the mirror of my soul. i need to be cognisant of the quiet words that i'm writing all day. carelessly scribing in my thoughts and in my intentions. these written words are more like engraved, are they not?

so its day two of reverb 10 and i'm a day late? in perfect stephanie fashion... i'm writing possibility on a post-it and sticking it to my keys. i'm carving out time for this, and putting something else on the "TO DO later" list instead. xoxo back later this evening with Day 3.

day one

2010-12-01T21:34:00.002-05:00

reverb10 begins today. a few things begin today. but as always, we carry more than we're able to share in a single breath. so let's keep it simple and celebrate day one. i have a feeling this month promises to be a rich & unearthing one.

can i just take a quick moment to introduce myself? i'm stephanie. part trail blazer, part lover, 100% youngest child. wholehearted, big-haired, and bright spirited. lover of all things adventurous, good with the big picture, often caught over thinking the details. fiercely loyal, creative & honest & open. loves postal mail, red wine, and hot yoga.

2010 has showed me a great deal about what it means to be a young woman finding her way. my heart is so glad to have a time for reflecting on my golden year and manifesting whats to come in 2011. you can always contact me via the comments/email.

December 1 One Word.

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?
(Author: Gwen Bell)

2010= ground-breaking, in a golden kind of way

2010 has been so big for me, so GOOD. i caught a good glimpse of myself in 2009, after finally encountering the beautiful woman within, and decided it was time to stop holding back. i'd settled for a mediocre job and i knew there was more. mondo beyondo was a major spark for me.

so in 2010, i took a good hard list at my mondo beyond list and my reflection in the mirror, and i started chipping away at the old block. and i mean that in a michelangelo-carved-the-david kind of way.

maybe it was finding out i was an ENFJ. or running a half marathon. or hearing that kaileen elise got a new job and believing, somewhere deep down inside, that i, too, deserved to be that happy with the work i was doing everyday. or maybe it was that kate spade handbag i won from oh.joy {still loving this beauty!}

whatever it was, 2010, you rocked! you've rocked me in such good ways: getting engaged to pw. an awesome career move. a darling apartment in a charming neighborhood. graduate school. wellcoach training. half-marathon. adventures, nieces, culinary delights, awesome boots, and some delightful new friends. geeze what more could a girl ask for?

2011: you've got big shoes to follow. but to tell you the truth, i'm so ready to be a sponge to all this goodness. to be more present, more mindful. to listen deeply to stories. to spend more time in nature. to not sweat the small stuff. as cliche as that sounds, i mean really, seriously: there is SO MUCH GOODNESS to give your full self to---why worry about the nooks and crannies of negativity when there is so much to celebrate? i imagine a reflective, confident Stephanie, blogging it up on 12/01/11, admiring the harvest of 2011.

(and not ironically, harvest was the word that most struck me about my future with pw. read more about that romance...}

yay for reverb 10! be sure to leave me a comment so we can stay in touch! xoxoxoxox stephanie

steffi's wish list

2010-11-26T17:06:00.001-05:00


holiday season hair accessory. j (by ban.do)

for our NYC travels: upstate fillipa by kate spade


Measure Up Bowls (porcelain portion control :) love it!)

golden year lip gloss? thanks, NARS

devacurl diffuser kit (& her haircut! idevacurl, you looking for models?)

perhaps what i'll wear when i wed pw. i should have it just in case!


I'm usually anti-tiedye, but i'll make an exception for these sea-inspired yogitoes

loose leaf mint tea via teavana [make my nightly ritual sans paper]

betty draper approved ice cubes trays to ensure a delightful (& perhaps dramatic) cocktail hour


happy tape dispenser. a must-have for a crafty girl like me. {in smoke, please}

when my name change happens in 2011, let's make put one of these beauties on my wish list.

since i'm sitting out black friday, i figured i'd do a little inspiration and beauty shopping. there is so much to discover! i could get lost in the magical world of colorful, beauty. my wish list has a few new things added to it.

xoxox stephanie

reverb 10

2010-11-24T17:14:00.000-05:00

you've heard me gush over and over again about my girl crush & darling sparklista friend, kaileen elise. she's up to more goodness with her 2010 collaboration with mentor Gwen Bell and Caligater:

lucky for me, i've got a 30 page Literature Review due on Dec 1, and that means i'll be more than ready to jump into the goodness of this event. Reverb10 is about reflecting on this year, and manifesting what's next. they threw the line and hooked me: exactly what i needed after a golden year of goodness, change, and challenge, and in the midst of the anticipation of "what will next year hold?"

i thrilled to be an advocate of this event, and even {lucky me!}, part of the Crew! not because i have a ton of time on my hands or anything, but because i'm setting an intention to carve out time for these important reflections. but don't take my word for it. this is why they say about the event:

"Reverb 10 (#reverb10) is now an annual event, an inspired response to (and evolution of) #best09. It’s an open online initiative that encourages participants to reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. It’s an opportunity to retreat and consider the reverberations of your year past, and those that you’d like to create in the year ahead. We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours."

head over here & sign up to join in on the goodness! then find me on twitter & let's be friends. xoxox stephanie

priorities: straight!

2010-11-22T22:26:00.000-05:00

a while back, my best friend ferd and i were chatting about priorities.

you've heard of those before, i'm sure.

she is a busy bee, but one of the things that makes her stand out in a crowd is her dedication and single hearted focus on a goal. sure, she trains for triathlons and can run a sub-seven minute mile (don't be shy ferdy, you know you can!), but she was sharing with me that one of the ways she stays focused is to align her week to her top 5 priorities. as invitations come through the post and calls in the que, she checks with her priorities before hitting "accept with enthusiasm" or "decline with regret."

weeks turn into years and years into our friendship (thanks, chris!), this is one of her many delightful trademarks. she's a friend for all seasons, and you know when ferd has been in your midst because you beam with a certain joy that only comes from time with her.

as we all know, "how we spend out days is, after all, how we spend our lives." [annie dilliard] so in the spirit of ferd, i decided to decorate a piece bazzill cardstock (the BEST!) and get my priorities straight.

Ready for Priorities! {before}

i think i forgot to mention here on the blog, that i'm officially a graduate student!

that little intention i set back in june? a spark.

Doodle from a study break. that's me in the middle.

so this fall i started in the Master of Education, Community Health program at UofL. exciting, right? very exciting. then i took the GRE. then i got officially accepted! hooray!! so now, along with working full time, cultivating a strong foundation with my darling fiance, tending to my creative spirit, keeping fit & strong, prepping healthy meals and heading into the holiday season (its time for christmas cards again!), you can imagine that i feel like a tornado upwards of ninety-seven percent of the time. so priorities, they come in handy during the busy season of life. they keep our eyes on the prize.

Priorities: straight! {after}

A quick glance at these puppies and you see I've pulled a "stephanie" on my priorities list. A couple years ago, my brother Mason was climbing into the jeep (he must have been 12?!) and I started yelling at him: "Mason! Push in the button! Put on your seatbelt! Change the station! Turn it down! Get my phone! now!" >12 commands in <12seconds. From that day forward, I'm infamously known at "The Multitasker." So looking at this list, you'll see that it captures my main priorities, and then extensions of that intention {sub-priorities}. Without further ado, my top five priorities are:

Self
Paul
Career
Loved Ones
Growth

I think the descriptions (sub-priorities) are a pretty good capture. If I had an erasable pen, I would have written "strengthen with integrity" on the sub category of number 3, but otherwise, I was pleased at how well this practice outlined my truest priorities of late.

It's not that other things won't come up, it's just that I'll know whether those other things align to my big goals during this season of life. And you see, if we're busy focusing on our hearts desires, driving our energy towards that which energizes us, we're going to be caught in the act of doing a lot of good. I can think of nothing more flattering than being a unstoppable force for positive change, and being a good steward of the resources and responsibilities given to me.

I'd certainly encourage you to partake in the goodness, if you have time & if the creative spirit moves you. Be sure to link me to your blog if you do! I'd love to see what you come up with!

Don't feel any pressure to multi-task yourself---just look deeply and I think you'll be surprised what you find. I firmly believe we really do know what matters most, and if we allow ourselves the to sit in the quiet space, we'll have a deeper understanding of exactly what that is. Then, knowing what matters most, we'll be able to align our everyday efforts to those goals.

Happy creating! xoxo Stephanie

pairing up the socks

2010-11-20T17:10:00.001-05:00

when i dreamed up this post, i couldn't decide whether i should call it "shoving the boxers in the drawer" or "pairing up the socks." for the sake of getting less trashy [spam] comments, i decided on the socks title. but both titles appropriately fit the topic.

i'll just be straightforward with you: this is not about paul's sock drawer. but that was the spark. my saturday chores often involve laundry, and i a l w a y s loathe folding his mountains of socks and boxers. its not that he wears an unusual amount of these items, its just that they are always in the mix. i'm a girl that loves variety. but there's always gotta be socks & boxers, socks & boxers. week after week.

paul's handsome sock drawer

socks & boxers, however, are not the point. the point is about my firmest belief: that everything, every little living action, adds up to the total sum of what manifests itself in our lives. and that there is nothing, not a single thing, in our lives that isn't used to grow and challenge and assist us in becoming the most full, flowing version of our selves.

and i realize this belief, week after week. as i go to put away laundry, i consider not pairing up his socks. i don't know why, really, it's not that hard to do, its just that:

he has a lot of socks
many of these socks look alike
i like to do my chores expeditiously
mid-folding, i think to myself, "geeze! look at all these g.d. socks!"
i finally find something in the clean laundry pile that's mine, and wouldn't you know there is a sock clinging to it!
and so on and so on

but then, a more gentle, focused stephanie steps in and reminds swift stephanie that the simple act of folding paul's socks [or boxers] could be the most important thing i do. because life is in the little stuff. the varied, simple, and intentional efforts send forth meaningful energy in the direction of our progressive lives.

and in this lesson, i lean, willingly and ceremoniously, towards the knowing that a simple action [as small as pairing up and folding paul's socks] is everything my life is made up of. simutaneously, i'm caring for paul, keeping the house organized, aligning my actions with intention, showing up in all that i do. not because it matters in some grandiose way, but because the miniscule moments make up the breadth of our lives. and if we're practicing full presence when its "not" required of us, imagine the fullness with which we will show up when it "is" required of us!

it's silly, i know, but it's also the most wonderful way to describe a deep belief of mine. i hope we can share that sacred space here. have a delightful saturday. xoxox stephanie

my lineup of inspiration

2010-11-14T12:16:00.000-05:00

i've been absolutely smitten with inspiration and delight these days. something about re-committing to claiming my creative space and allowing myself to take time to be inspired and share inspiration has been restorative and rejuvenating. for various reasons, i thought i didn't have the time & space in my life for frivolous reading, but when i looked more closely, i wasn't using the time i had wisely, and my priorities weren't quite clear. more on that tomorrow.

today, though, i thought i'd share my lineup of inspiration. among these sources, you'll find creative, spirited, authentic words & images. always thought-provoking, always charming, wide-winged & deep-rooted, these ladies are a treasure trove of inspiration for me. worth a read with your afternoon tea. daily.

analiese marie: tulips and tea
leigh standley: curly girl design blog
katie armour: the neotraditionalist
victoria wall harris: victoria's photography blog
the lulu lemon lineup: lululemon blog
miss caiti: caitidid designs blog
bréne brown: ordinary courage

this is all to say, if you're looking for delight & sparkle this sunday, consider yourself lucky! you've found it. now boil a pot of water, and pull up a chair. there is plenty of inspiration to share.

a special place

2010-11-10T21:34:00.000-05:00

you may remember that paul & i got engaged at bernheim forest. {if you're feeling gushy, or need some extra love-mush in your life, go ahead and do a little afternoon reading: the story of our engagement} so it goes without saying that bernheim holds a special place in our hearts.

this year, for my birthday, my best-give-giving-couple-on-earth sister-in-law & brother gave us a membership to the arboretum. such. a. great. gift! we were thrilled when our sticker arrived and promptly put it on the windshield of the Golf. and made a goal: visit monthly. it's a hop-skip&-a-jump outside of the city, and welcome respite from the hustle and bustle. this week, we went up to Paul's Point and hiked the "Iron Ore Hill Loop." It was a short, engaging hike: the quick slopes, fallen leaves, and fresh air made for an adventure.

(that's the point of the canopy treewalk! so cool)

if you were on the trail with us, yes, we were the couple practicing a slow dance. paul would rather be caught stealing bon-bons from a french chocolate shop than admit to that, but i had to prove to him that i thought "our song" was slow-song worthy. maybe even first-dance worthy {!}

it goes without saying that having a special place where you & your partner feel peaceful, together and "in sync" always serves to enhance the relationship from the inside out. not just the slow dancing on the trail, but the navigation of two people on one rocky road. to get away from the noise of the city, and the pace of everyday life, and to get quiet with your thoughts and your partner and your environment. that's a huge blessing. and one i'm super thankful for.

so thanks: maria & emile! spectacular gift! and thanks: paul, for being the delightful presence you are. and thanks: bernheim! you're beautiful and unique in many ways. i kind of want to get married on the canopy treewalk: spontaneous wedding, anyone? {j/k paul}

our goal is to visit each month of the upcoming year. to see the seasons change. to connect in the purposeful way the bernheim always allows us to. i'd certainly encourage you to find a place of that "nature" (no pun, intended!) and pursue it.

signed, sealed, delivered: love.

2010-11-08T21:49:00.001-05:00

as many of you know, one of my long time favorite activities is a simple one:

letter writing.

i write my grandmothers.

my soon-to-be mother in law.

my sister.

my long-lost friends.

local business owners.

this brings me a deep delight. it means i get to use my favorite papers, my creative spirit & my prized sparkling pens. this means juicy words & affectionate sentiments rise to the surface, along with thoughful memories, challenging honesty, and deep, meaningful words. i really, truly love letter writing.

it goes without saying that girls like me get card writing inspiration from ladies whose art & work tell the stories of friendship, relationship & inner exploration. while i often make my own cards to send, sometimes i think you could send a note on the back of a napkin or a carry out chinese menu and the recipient would still be smitten.

but send something! "send love," leigh @ curly girl would say. send tales of trying to maintain some kind of work/life balance. send a list of your favorite grocery items and a tale about the cute guy in the cheese aisle. send recipes and pictures and home-made face mask concoctions. send the courageous thing: the letter you're not sure you should send that captures the words that have been left unsaid. of course, say those things respectfully, gracefully and with tender thought. send your love postcards from your adventures. send pictures of your pup, a disc of your favorite workout tunes, any anything that suits you.

the point is this: put something in the post that is meaningful, touching & magical. it will benefit you, the sender, and certainly, the recipient, too. have a lovely week, too!

26 fun facts about turning 26 (part lll)

2010-11-06T19:48:00.002-04:00

19. it's absolutely true: love wins.

20. my aunt sent me this picture. hysterical. so true.

21. lauren is married! congrats lauren & drew!

22. my friendship with ferd captured in such a perfect way.
kate sears talented photographer extrordinare

23. i love brown paper atop tables. especially at breakfast time with pw.

24.daddy dave telling the smores story. it gets us all, every time.

25. there is something really darling about this picture. me & mom :)

26. laughter, dancing, {bagels} & catchup with old friends.

well part l and part ll, and finally today's part III tell the tale of the month of october in photos. these photos are representative of the celebrations, adventures and connections that were experienced & cherished. there was family, friends, 3 beautiful brides, toasts, car trips, the GRE, a midterm, delicious meals, some spicy fried chicken, party dresses, new cityscapes, breathtaking landscapes, tears, laughter, exhaustion & stories galore.

it was, overall, one of the most memorable months of my golden year.

and

i declare november a time for priorities, reflection, self-care and ease. thanks for sharing in the celebration with me. here's to life!

xoxo

stephanie